Semper Fidelis
by koa-chan
Summary: AU. She has always been a dreamer. She dreams of every past life. He was always there. They always meet. Always touch. Always collide. And always keep one step in between. - Yet HE wanted to change that. SHE watches him try. / Lelouch/C.C.


**A/N: **This came in late because of official business butting in my writing schedule. There were several laptops to reformat, several tarps that demanded to be made and several people who needed attending to - so I had to push back my supposedly fixed schedule.

I have so many things to say. This certain fic is special so I really want to rant here, but I think that I've kept you guys waiting for long enough. My actual author's note will be after the whole story.

You wouldn't really know what to expect on this kind of work, on that kind of summary, but I want to thank you for opting to read through this 12k-word one-shot. Just don't expect anything too special, anything too epic - or anything too in-character, funny or romantic.

So here goes Semper Fidelis - don't expect anything, really - just remember it's AU.

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* * *

_

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_To what do I owe this gift, my friend?_  
_My life, my love, my soul?_  
Creed; "Hide"

.

.

**. semper fidelis .**

* * *

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She has always been a dreamer. She dreams of the future. It's her gift. She cherishes it – the whole of it, even the curse that accompanies. She had no choice, at least she has to pretend she was in bliss. A fool's paradise.

Blessings and curses always find their way back to their respective owners. She was no exception to both. She's been blessed with the gift to see the future of those she valued.

All she valued. And perhaps she didn't value herself. Why else would she dream of her past and never of her future?

She dreams of every past life.

And she has always been a dreamer.

And there had always been herself.

Then _him_. Then _her_.

And she loved them both. No matter who _she_ is.

.

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* * *

.

"C.C.?" She heard that soft voice from the other side of the phonecall. A small smile graced her tired lips and she sat up in her bed that morning, listening to the speaker. "G'morning. Did I wake you up?"

"No, you didn't." her reply, brushing soft green locks away her face, stifling her yawn. "I was just about to get up. Good morning. What's up with early call?"

Based off her dream, she knew what he was about to say.

"I'm going to propose tonight."

Her heart fluttered. "I know."

"Do you think she'll say yes?"

She only happily answered. "Of course. Why won't she?" _'I saw her and you happy. You shouldn't worry.'_

He chuckled. "Thanks so much, C.C. I don't know what I'd do without you."

She felt like a guardian angel. This _is_ crazy.

"Stop using me as a morning sedative and go dress up right this minute or you'll be late for work, Lelouch." she reminded. "Also…feed your dog. _Dogs_, I mean."

Shuffling. More noises. "Sorry, you hear them all barking, do you? And how do you know I'm still in my boxers?"

"Best girl friend's intuition."

He laughed. "Right. I gotta go now. See 'ya at work, C.C. Thanks again – I'll buy that choker you want so much."

He hung up. C.C. smiled down at her phone as she sat alone on her bed, contemplating. Trying to remember.

She always remembered her dreams. Last night, she dreamt of Lelouch kneeling in front of Shirley, offering her a diamond ring. Shirley embraced him tight and said yes. They were so happy.

Then she remembered another lifetime, when a fairy had guided a prince to reach his slumbering princess. So far that was her favorite life – seeing a fairytale classic happily ever after. She was lucky she got to be the fairy.

C.C. was a clairvoyant dreamer. The tighter her bond with a person, the more accurate her dreams become.

She was blessed with this gift. Yet she couldn't see her own future. Couldn't dream of it. Instead, she dreams of her past – past lives. Her carnations: the fairy, the princess, the slave girl, the teacher, the passing stranger, the dancer, the enchantress, the leper, the flower girl, the tailor, the queen, the witch… the best friend… She's been everything, something, nothing and anything she can imagine. She did not know if she could hold those stories being her past lives as a fact, but she had dreamt them – felt them – thought one and had been one with them. She dreams of them dreaming. She knows... that they know.

Green-haired, golden-eyed C.C. had dreamt of all of it – not knowing which of them had been true. She did not even know if they were lives... or if they were worlds…

And she dreamed of her past lives for as long as she could comprehend and had discovered that he had always been there.

Lelouch had always been the violet-eyed person in every life she had: the prince she guided through the dangers of the forest, the knight she helped escape and break the rules, the young boy she sold flowers to and talked about the girl he adored, the swordsman she offered a home for one day and one night, the good-willed professor she worked for as a substitute, the doctor who did not fear her sickness back then, the torn teenager in the bus musing over his life… and many more personas that she couldn't enumerate further.

They always had different names, and she never recalled any of them. But for this life…

He calls her C.C., a young veterinarian, pet shop employee, and cat-lover.

Lelouch is the owner of the pet shop-clinic, her best friend since they were in college. Dog-lover to boot and it looks like he's head over heels with a girl named Shirley for now. _Looks like_. Something about this one makes her hesitate, but she trusts the smiles he sends her. Maybe he was happy.

Never ever in any of their past lives had they fallen in love with each other. There was an invisible line drawn. And it was strong.

She was just... maybe… his guardian, his helper… his ministering angel: because she will always be there whenever he needed help with his life.

He never questioned her eccentric dreams and 'stories' – never looked strangely when she is able to predict something accurately. Maybe that was his part of the bargain. To believe in her.

And Shirley? Shirley was only of this lifetime. But she was a good, nice woman that could pass off as a saint. And while it lasts, all C.C. wants is for Shirley's happiness with Lelouch and vice versa. Nothing else for now.

Never once did she spite the line drawn. It was enough that she could get to meet him in every life. They were like each other's lucky charms. They always meet. Always touch. Always collide.

And always keep one step in between.

Almost like soulmates: linked, but not meant to be, it seems.

She blinked out the sleep in her eyes. Maybe she's dreamt too much last night. For her to be thinking so deeply into these things… that was unusual. He always teased her for knowing too much.

But he ends up happy. And she never regrets.

.

* * *

.

She arrived in the pet shop just in time. Lelouch was just opening up, three puppies in his arms.

Rolling her eyes, she strode over to him. "I thought you have enough strays as it is at your flat."

He shrugged. "Can't help it. You know I can't resist it when I see puppies on boxes in the street."

"Right, right. Let me at them so you could open up the shop." She held out her hands and he diligently deposited the three little puppy dogs in them. She tickled the pups and they licked her fingers. "Hm, they're cute."

"Are they? Well, like pet, like master-"

"You're taking them _in_ at your house, too? Goodness, Lelouch. Were you _born_ to take in a minimum of 20 dogs in this life? Last time I checked, you've already got 22-"

"Plus three. 25." A chuckle as he unlocked the shop door and opened it for her to let her in. He ignored the pointed look. "I don't know about my purpose for this life, C.C. Maybe _you _do. Any good news for me?"

He followed her inside. She let the puppies down to play on the floor as they started setting up things around the shop. The lights, the air conditioner, the cages and others. Hamsters started rolling in their cages. Poodles, chihuahuas, bulldogs and several more breeds barked to life in greeting, Lovebirds started chirping, kittens mewled against their favorite green-haired caretaker's soft strokes, and pet fishes started swimming actively in the aquarium.

She decided to answer his question then. "Good news, though. Your proposal will be a success. She'll say yes."

He stared.

She stared back. "Did that take off the thrill?"

"Yes. But it also took off the nervousness. Thanks."

They worked on the daily morning routine on the pet shop, and after a while, one of their regular customers came in.

"'Morning, C.C., Lelouch." a pink-haired girl came in, carrying a set of books and a schoolbag.

Both greeted pleasantly. "Good Morning, Anya."

The girl headed straight to the counter. "You know the usual. Fish food."

Lelouch nodded. C.C. headed to the shelves to pick their customer's order. Meanwhile, the pet shop owner decided to start a conversation. "So how's the sick clownfish?"

Anya smiled slightly. "He's getting better. Your tips work like a charm."

"That's great. Here you go." – he took the pack of fish food from C.C. and handed it to Anya, then took her payment. "Come again."

The girl slid in the pack in a pocket of her bag. "Yeah. Thanks. Gotta go now." She headed for the door, but then C.C. called her.

"Oh. Anya?"

The girl looked back. "Hm?"

C.C. used a casual tone. "You're going out with Gino this afternoon?"

"Uh, yes."

"Tell him to be careful on the road; I notice he drives too fast."

Anya blinked, then gave an uneasy smile. "You're weird. Sure, I'll tell him. Bye."

"Bye." Lelouch called back, and then he looked at C.C. "Something bad?"

The woman looked back. "No. He's just... gonna run over a kitten."

"And you'll get mad at him?"

"Kinda. But Anya will be furious."

Lelouch rolled his eyes, then took out his documents and started on the shop inventory. Another customer entered.

"Hey, you guys!" a man greeted, carrying with him a small pooch.

C.C. left him to tend to documents and greeted the newcomer. "Hey, Clovis. Dog food?"

"A new collar, too."

That morning went by without a hitch. Lelouch left the store at noon to take care of something C.C. failed to catch because she was busy feeding the animals. Nevertheless, after the task, she took out her lunchbox, sat by the counter, and started her meal. When she finished her lunch, two high school students went in.

"Hey, C.C.!" – both brunettes greeted cheerfully, heading towards the counter, feeling like home. Well, they should.

The woman regarded them with a discreet smile. "Hey, Nunnally, Rollo. Out early today?"

"Yep! Classes were cancelled for the afternoon." Nunnally said, joining her behind the counter, putting down her bags.

Rollo followed, dumping his bag beside the shelves and sitting down Lelouch's desk. "Where's big brother?"

"He went out for a bit." C.C. explained. The two helped out the shop during late afternoons after school before going straight home. Now she was having early company. Then she remembered something. "Oh, wait. I forgot to feed the hamsters. Could you two keep watch on the counter for me?"

"Sure!" Nunnally replied dutifully. "I'm starting my homework here, is that alright?"

"Fine by me." C.C. nodded, and then left for the back of the shop, where the hamster cage was located. Rollo followed, quite strangely. But she's used to him around by now. "Want to do the honors?"

Rollo nodded, and picked up the container of hamster pellets, then poured them in the bowl inside the cage. He tickled some of the little pets for a while, then withdrew his hand and closed back the cage. Then he stared at the green-haired woman across him. "Uh… C.C.?"

The woman stared back. "…Anything wrong?"

"Is it true? My big brother will be… proposing?" the boy kept his voice low, she noticed. Maybe he didn't want his sister to hear. Maybe Nunnally still knew nothing of it. Lelouch always told Rollo things beforehand.

"Yes." C.C. replied, picking up one of the stray puppies that Lelouch brought in the morning and stroking its fur. "She'll say yes. I know."

"Then it'll happen." Rollo looked down. "…Are you fine with that?"

She stared at him, raising an eyebrow. What kind of question was that? "Why wouldn't I be?"

The boy frowned. "…But-.. I… I like you better than… her."

C.C. sighed, then patted him on the head. "Of course you do. You've known me longer and-"

"It's not that. I think he'll be happier with you. He's always happy with you. No one else-"

"Your brother loves Shirley, you know." she said, voice calm.

Before she could say anything else, Rollo spoke again. "Then what about what happened last week?"

C.C. didn't know what to say about that. She didn't want to talk about that. She wasn't surprised that he'd insist on that, either. She told him herself. She _and Lelouch_ told him themselves. "That-"

"-wasn't an accident. Don't tell me it was an accident." Rollo looked away stubbornly. "I won't believe you."

"Rollo," she chuckled lowly, lowering her voice. "We were drunk. It _was_ an accident."

The boy huffed. "Liar."

"No, I mean it."

"I don't believe you."

C.C. started to get impatient. "…What's wrong with you?"

Before he could answer, Lelouch had already walked in the shop, halting further conversation.

But Rollo had mumbled one more sentence. "I like you better and _he_ does, too."

C.C. didn't have any other chance to answer because Rollo had walked up to his brother to greet him. Lelouch had started conversation with his siblings.

.

* * *

.

"_What is wrong, boy?" – the witch asked the travelling lad.  
Her green hair was like evergreen grass,  
and the young man watched fascinated as the moonlight draped its rays on her._

_The boy with the violet eyes was not afraid - "I'm lost."_

"_I know." she finally said, and she held out her hand to him.  
"I knew you will be. Let me help you find your way back."_

"_What do you ask for in return?" he asked, for he knew that witches,  
no matter how beautiful they may be, will always demand compensation._

_Instead the woman asked, "Do you trust me?"_

"_Yes." – and he didn't know why._

"_Thank you. That is all I need."_

_He believed. He didn't regret._

_._

_

* * *

_

.

They waved the siblings goodbye just before closing time. Like any other day, they checked the animals in their cages, left enough food for them, and cleaned up the counter.

Lelouch was tallying today's cash, doing accounting materials as C.C. finished off her things. She was just tying her long green hair up in a ponytail when he closed his book and put down his pen.

"It's almost 6, Lelouch. You will be late for your date." – she remarked when she felt him stand behind her. Not that she needed to feel for him; she was in front of a mirror.

He took out something from behind him, and she watched as he wrapped a blood red velvet band gently around her neck. Her breath caught at the red choker and the simple silver cross pendant that dangled in it.

"Hey, this is-"

"What you've been eyeing for months now." He said, fastening the item safely behind her neck, and he laid his hands on her shoulder. "Thanks for everything."

"What the hell, Lelouch. This is more expensive than that engagement ring." – she stared at him through the mirror, a hand touching the choker he gave her.

"How did you know?"

"I was with you when you bought it, idiot."

"Well I wouldn't have proposed in the first place if it weren't for your encouragements." he smiled a bit. "Just take it or you'll depress me."

She looked at him, then sighed, put her hands over his. "Thanks for the choker. And just head over there and sweep her up her feet."

She gave his hands a little squeeze 'cause that's what he needed. Genius or not, confident or not, any guy would feel nervous before a proposal. He chuckled a bit and nodded. He was right earlier – what would he do without her?

He didn't notice how his eyes wavered for a while, but she did.

"Getting cold feet now?"

He blinked, snapped out of his trance, and he withdrew his hands. "No, of course not!"

"You look nervous."

"Of course I am!"

"You sure you can do it?" – she smiled that same sly smile. It's been a while since she openly teased him.

"Of _course_ I can do it! Geez, stop underestimating me, woman!"

She shrugged. When he calls her '_woman'_, it means that he was trying to tell her off – trying to tell her to _stop teasing_ or he'll snap and go mental.

Well, he _is_ mental. He believes her – what could be more crazy than that?

.

* * *

.

_The knight stared unbelievingly at his queen.  
He was supposed to protect her in this war. Why is she asking him to abandon position?_

"_My queen, I am supposed to protect you at all costs!"_

"_Even at the expense of your beloved's life?!"_

_He stopped short._

"_You have a maiden that you have to go home to, am I not mistaken?  
Right now, she might be in danger. The town was attacked, and you know that."_

"_But you're our queen-"_

"_I wouldn't want my life to be preserved in the place of two lives that would be happy with each other." – she laid a hand on her knight's shoulder.  
"You've served me well. This is my last order and don't fail me: save her."_

_It was an order. It was absolute. He ran, regretful – and he'll be forever thankful to the queen._

_He loved his queen more than anything. More than the maiden he promised his heart to.  
The queen was always right. She believed in him – he believed in her. And he'll run._

_._

_

* * *

_

.

He was early in the store the next day. He was already feeding the birds when she arrived.

"I'm sure I didn't oversleep." – she scratched her head, and he raised an eyebrow.

"What, don't I have any right to arrive early?" he asked, visibly heartbroken. Early in the morning and she's teasing him like this? Not polite.

"Or maybe you were too happy that you didn't sleep at all." – she joked, and then he looked back down at the birds, mumbling something. "What? I was right?"

"No, not really." – he told her truthfully. "Just that I didn't sleep."

"So when's the wedding?" – because she knew that Shirley must have said 'yes'.

"Not sure." – he answered, moving on to the next couple of cages.

She settled her things on the counter, checked some things here and there and figured out fast that he had done arranging everything before she arrived. Noting his silence, she peeked at him. Her brows furrowed. "Lelouch, you shouldn't feed that much to the green ones, remember?"

He stared at her, then at the lovebirds, and then scratched his head. "Yeah."

"Are you alright? I can take over the shop for today if you want." She offered bluntly, sensing something utterly wrong. "What's in your mind anyway?"

He answered just as bluntly. "You."

She blinked. "What?"

He looked at her again, and then shrugged. "Nevermind."

C.C. frowned cautiously then she asked again. "Aren't you supposed to be happy? Your proposal had surely been a success."

Lelouch shrugged. "Something feels missing."

"Missing?" – she raised an eyebrow, curious. "What's missing? You're happy with your girlfriend, the shop's alright, Rollo and Nunnally are both doing well."

"It's like yesterday I knew I was choosing one of the greatest choices I could ever choose, and then when I got home, I thought 'What the hell? I'm not ready for this.'", Lelouch ranted, moving on to feed the fishes. "And I kept asking myself why I wanted to do that."

"Everyone feels that way at first." She gave a small encouragement. "Don't worry. It made both of you happy, right?"

He shrugged again, deep in thought. "I mean… yeah, I love Shirley but there's… this… Wait, WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THIS?"

"Because I asked and you're willing to answer?"

The raven-head looked at her pointedly. "I'm not sure about that proposal."

She frowned at him. "I thought you were. That's why you asked me to help you choose a ring."

"I don't know anymore." – he grumbled under his breath. Shirley's flustered, shocked, yet happy face last night made him happy.

And that was all.

There were no… fireworks, sparks, and heartbeats skipping-… well, he didn't really need that, but there was no… accomplishment.

As if it was a joke perfectly executed to cheer someone up.

"So," he decided to divert the topic when she didn't speak. "Any other omens for today?"

She shook her head.

"You dreamt of the past?"

"Yeah."

"Have I heard it before?"

"This one's new."

A smile tugged against his lips. "Tell me about it."

She did, as always. He listened. By the time it was over, he was frowning. She studied his expression, and when he remained frowning, she already decided to ask. "What?"

"Don't you ever get tired of tragedies?"

C.C. blinked. "That wasn't a tragedy. You lived happily ever after with your maiden."

His face was troubled. "But you died."

"I died happy." – with dignity.

"Because I was happy?"

"Yes."

When they finished talking, he was already leaning across her in the counter. It was a weekday, so there were fewer customers, and they liked to spend the day on chit-chat.

After a few moments, Lelouch yawned, then he faced her again. "When will you get a boyfriend?"

Based on his tone, he was bored about it, but she turned to him. "What brought that on?" – she laid her chin against her palm and waited for his reply.

He wasn't good on talks like this, so she was just waiting for him to screw up before letting him redeem his pride by being unusually kind.

"W-Well…" he looked away for a bit. "I've had plenty of moments where you just keep on driving the girls I don't like away. Maybe it's about time I watch out for you."

She grinned like the Cheshire cat that she is. "What if he never comes?"

He coughed. "What _if_ he's already _here_?" – he countered effectively.

She knew that tone. He _knows_ something! "Who is it?"

"Why would I tell you?"

She stared.

He never managed to hold his ground when she stared.

So Lelouch grunted. "Fine, I was kidding! Just… just go find your man so I could beat up somebody."

"Why the brutality, Lelouch?" – C.C. stifled the laugh. He was being silly – as if he could hold himself in a fight. _She_ could beat him in a millisecond if it came to a fight.

He huffed. "You're too good for anyone, you know."

She blinked. "How do you say so?"

"I just know." – he insisted, and then he yawned again. "Damn, I really didn't sleep last night, didn't I?"

Dismissing his lunatic words for his lack of sleep, she shooed him off and sighed. "You know, you go over your desk and get some sleep. You need it, visibly so."

Lelouch rubbed his eyes and mumbled his thanks before he trudged up to his desk and slumped down. He fell asleep just right after he closed his eyes.

A customer came, and C.C. ran out of time to worry about him.

Tonight she'll try to dream about tomorrow. She hoped for good news.

.

* * *

.

"_You ran away?" – a young woman asked as she sat beside a young man in that bus.  
The raven-haired teen looked up, huffed miserably and leaned against the window._

"_How did you know?"_

"_I just do."_

_He looked at her with scrutiny. "You're blind."_

"_I am." – she said, reaching one hand out. He took it without hesitation.  
She seemed so weak, long green hair in a braid; the traces of golden irises were reduced to simple pale yellow._

_"Your hand is warm."_

"_Yours is cold." – he remarked._

_He didn't know the girl, but she knew something about him. "How do you know I ran away from home?"_

_She closed her unseeing eyes and smiled a bit. "I just do."_

"_Stop answering me that way." – he felt her hand squeeze his._

_And then, she made an offer. "Wanna talk about it?"_

_He talked about everything. Something in him just shouted 'Tell her everything. Let it out.'_

_After his long musings, the only thing she said was: "Go back."  
He looked disbelievingly. "You'll be okay. Tell them everything. They'll understand."_

"_How the blasted HELL do you know?" – but before she could answer, he cut her off. "You just do?!"_

"_Yes." – and before he could retort further, she said, "They may not have listened to you, but are you sure you've listened to them, too?"_

_The bus stopped, and the driver announced their stop – it was her time to go._

"_Please be happy." – was her last statement before she drew her hand away and stood up._

"_Wait." – he grabbed her wrist, and he also stood up.  
"I'll… walk you towards the bus door."_

_Before they parted ways, he said "Thanks."_

_She nodded pleasantly. She heard the sound of the bus heading off as she stood by the sidewalk.  
She bowed her head down, her voice breaking the silence in a whisper._

"_See you next lifetime."_

_._

_

* * *

_

.

That morning, she lay awake on her bed for several minutes. After that brief dream, there had been another one.

An orange-haired woman crying. _'That was Shirley, wasn't it? You saw her face, C.C. – that WAS Shirley. She'll be crying.'_

She wanted to call Lelouch. But she couldn't do that. She wanted him to call her – she wanted to know how it had come to that.

She waited for her cellphone to ring, but it didn't.

C.C. wanted to laugh bitterly – since when had he developed the ability to resist calling her whenever he messed up? Shirley was crying – she was sure the girl didn't do anything wrong. It would be on Lelouch's part.

She waited. She wouldn't want to see him and just shout at him right there in the store. She wanted to talk to him first.

'_Just call me, damn it.' – _she never knew that she could be so worried like this. _'Just… just call me. You know I'll answer-'_

Her phone rang, and she grabbed it even before it could ring a second time. She pressed the 'answer' button and shoved it beside her ear. "Lelouch?" – though there was no way she could be sure if it is him-…

She was greeted by silence.

She waited.

Then, a voice rang. "C.C.?" – it wasn't Lelouch's.

C.C. stifled her gasp successfully, involuntarily brought her hand to her mouth. She knew that female voice so well. It sounded helpless.

She called the name gently. "Shirley?"

There was a sniff, and C.C. rubbed her temples; she didn't know what to do. She was good friends with the woman, yes. But she wasn't the one to know her in her best, moreover at her worst. It took a while for the reply. This time, C.C.'s grip on the phone had tightened as Shirley's voice broke into a mess of sobs, sniffs and words.

"I-I'm sorry, I know.. I know I'm supposed to talk to Milly or… or K-Kallen or-.. or N-Nina a-about this, but… but there's just… there's... it's just that I think you're the only one who'd understand. S-Sorry-"

C.C. shook her head. "No, no. Please tell me about it. Where are you now, do you want to meet up?" – She wasn't numb. She cared about the people around her albeit she didn't always show it. Shirley had been a good friend since she started going out with Lelouch.

So her dream… was this. Shirley crying. C.C. never expected it to happen so fast – to happen to her.

"N-No, I don't want you to see me so miserable." – the other woman gave out a nervous laugh. "I-… I just want to talk. I just have to let this out…"

"Sure, I'm just here. I'll listen."

"B-But the store…"

"Lelouch can handle it for the morning, don't worry I'll take care of him."

When she heard the name, Shirley broke down sobbing, and C.C. only listened. _'What happened now? Why didn't I see it?'_

"C.C., I-… I broke it off last night."

She kept silent. It wasn't Lelouch. It was Shirley who decided. What went wrong?

"I-… I just knew it wasn't working. W-When he proposed, we were both so happy but… but there's… I'm-.. he's... we-… we both don't know what to do anymore!"

"Shirley, what's wrong?" – C.C. tried to ask calmly. She couldn't understand.

"I don't know what's wrong…" Shirley sobbed. And C.C. saw her image – just fresh from her dream. "…And he agree, he admitted that we're not ready for anything yet..." C.C. listened, and Shirley kept on talking. "He asked me if I was happy, and-… a-and I wasn't. A-And… I don't know what we just threw away, w-we've gotten so far, it was such a waste!"

When Shirley started sobbing helplessly, C.C. decided to ask. "What did he say?"

"He was saying the same thing – he was saying that we've done so much-"

There was silence on both ends of the phone call.

Then Shirley, voice trembling, said something she feared so much. "A-and.. I… I don't know-… I-… I don't know but-… somehow, I-… I think that… we both made the... r-right choice."

.

* * *

.

She arrived late. Lelouch was by the counter that morning when she entered the store. He was playing with a small silver item in his hands.

The engagement ring.

"Slept in?" – he offered, and she shook her head.

C.C. answered him truthfully. "I was talking to Shirley."

He fell silent.

"For how many months have you _both_ been pretending to be perfect?" – she demanded as she stood beside him, not braving to look at him. She might slap him for not telling her about his doubts on a relationship that _she_ herself had worked hard to strengthen.

"Since we started it." – he admitted, laying the ring on the countertop and turning his back to her. "I think we both found excuses at the right place at the right time, and we held on to them." – Lelouch turned his back to her, leaving the ring in place, heading for his desk. "Our fault that we let it last so long."

She didn't know what to say. "How are you feeling?"

"How is Shirley?"

"She's been crying – she couldn't bear to think that she let something as special as that go and that she was right to do it." When he didn't answer, she eyed him. "How about you?"

Lelouch's voice shook a bit. "I feel utterly stupid."

.

* * *

.

"_Flowers for the lady, sir?" – the girl asked.  
Though she was his age, she addressed the young man with such honorific._

_He looked down as the girl. "Yes, the usual, please."_

_He was handed a bouquet of fresh lilies, and curiously, the girl asked him.  
"You love this woman very much, do you?"_

_The man gazed at her with violet eyes, and he wore a simple smile.  
"Yes." – the young lady could not read his gaze, but she knew that he meant it.  
"She's the most beautiful girl I've ever known."_

_The young woman was of poor descent, and so it was a marvel to her how much her regular customer adored this woman he had been bringing flowers to.  
But no matter how hard he adored whoever the lucky young lady is, she always dreamt of him, simply staring down at the bouquet he was about to buy by now.  
He would be sitting by his desk, staring at the flowers that he seemingly never managed to give away._

_Still, she had dreamt that she's been with him every single lifetime,  
and so the young woman gave him an encouraging smile and she says,  
"I wish you all the best."_

_She silently wished that he'll manage to give the bouquet of lilies to the most beautiful girl he's ever known._

"_Thank you." – and then, eyeing her basket of flowers, he asked.  
"How much for a single rose?"_

_She told him her rate for said flower, and he ordered one.  
Her breath caught when he tucked the red rose by her ear, took her hand and kissed it._

"_Until we meet again." – he said, and he strode off, bouquet of lilies in his arm._

_He wondered where he'd put it, for he had no woman to give it to._

_But at the very least, he managed to give a rose of adoration for the most beautiful girl he's ever known._

_.  
_

_

* * *

_

.

C.C. lay awake that night. She stared at the red choker Lelouch had given her, gazing at the silver cross charm that dangled from the crimson velvet.

She wanted to be distracted. She wanted to get her mind off the urge to call either Lelouch or Shirley to say words of comfort. She knew she worried too much, meddled too much.

Then, turning the accessory over in her hands, she noticed a little black inscription on the crimson velvet.

'_Semper fidelis.', _it said in black thread.

"What does that mean?" – she asked aloud, musing and rummaging through her mind for translations. When she came up with the accurate (according to memory) translation of the phrase, she almost laughed.

'_Always faithful.'_

Lelouch and his melodrama.

Now she couldn't help but worry. She's done it all of her lifetimes – she had looked over him for so long. It was hard not to do that now.

Rollo came bothering her again a while ago, telling her to give _them_, Lelouch and _her,_ a chance. She scolded him and told him that he didn't know what he was talking about, definitely.

And then the boy countered. _"He remembers. He remembers asking you if he could just love you and not care about past lives and red threads anymore."_

To be frank, she remembers too.

.

* * *

.

_They were dead drunk, celebrating Anya getting accepted to a high-class university. It was just five of them that managed to come, really – just Anya, Gino, Suzaku, Lelouch and C.C._

_It wasn't hard to be tipsy, but they were young and they were tired from work that day and both of them just accepted and downed whatever was handed to them._

_In the end, they were slumped against Lelouch's flat's doorway. They sat drowsily staring at the stars, leaning heavily against each other._

"_Hey, Lelou…" – she drawled, head buried on her arms and knees. She hated being drunk._

"_Yeah?" – he said as drawlingly._

"_I'm gonna have to sleep over. I can't damned walk…"_

_He nodded absently. "Alright, I'll sleep on the couch. With Peter and Grouch."_

_She laughed, freely, liberally – and he smiled at that. She was drunk, alright. "Who is Grouch again? The bulldog?"_

"_Yeah and Peter's the small white one."_

"_Ahhh."_

_They sat in silence, bearing with dizziness and headache and wrong state of mind. "HEY, C.C…???"_

_She sniffed a bit - "Yeah?"_

"_You look very very very very very very-"_

"_Just say it, drunk."_

"_-very very very very very-"_

"_DAMN YOU, LELOU. JUST SAY IT…" – she couldn't manage to sound impatient. Damn alcohol. Why did Suzaku and Gino and Anya be so good at downing them?_

"_-very pretty."_

"_Yeah right." – C.C. hit him weakly with her bag. "We're gonna die here."_

_He uttered the next words with no dignity whatsoever. "…Yeah. Let's sleep, dammit."_

_They remained leaning against each other for support when they went in. And who said anything about the couch? They found themselves sprawled haphazardly in Lelouch's bed. He had drunk far more than she did – and she had drunk lots. By the time they stumbled to the bedroom, he had collapsed, cursing and grunting, telling her incoherently that he was feeling SO BAD._

_She fell on top of the bed with him. He was snoring by the time she realized that he just collapsed._

_She's never drinking with those three again!_

_C.C. looked down – they were in the middle of his bed, and he had his arms around her waist as he snored by her lap. She rubbed her face, trying to sort her thoughts out, but it was no use. A headache was killing her._

"…_Hey-… Hey, C.C.?" – he drawled, and he sounded as if he was in some huge suffering. He buried his face by her lap._

"_What is it? Goddamnit, get OFF me, you're SO HEAVY and I feel like I'm dying-"_

"_I loooooove youuuuu…" – and then he laughed._

"_I'm not Shirley, Lelouch. JUST GET OFF-"_

"_But I looooove you so much and you just won't let me."_

_She fell silent. Then, gulping a bit, covering her eyes with her arm, she slapped his face lightly. "You're out of your mind."_

"_AND PROUD!" – another laugh. "Y'know what, I can't love Shirleeeeeey properly 'cause I can't just damned get over you. IT'S YOOOOOUR FAAAAAUUUUULT."_

_He was just drunk, she tried to remind herself. Forgive him, he's just drunk. "Lelouch, get off me and let's just sleep. I don't care if we sleep in one bed, just let me get some bloody SLEEP and GET OFF ME."_

"_But I'm dying."_

"_Both of us are dying."_

"_Awwwweeesoooome."_

"_We're drunk, Lelouch-"_

"_Does C.C. love meee toooooo???" – he said, struggling to look up at her and failing miserably. He managed to ease his head off her lap, though, and they simply lay side-by-side on the bed, still in their shoes, their bags and coats discarded messily by the doorway._

"_IDIOT." – she retorted moodily, feeling worse._

"_Your cheeks are red…"_

"_Your cheeks are BRIGHT RED." – BAM. Instant pillow to the face._

_Lelouch hugged the pillow, turning away from her, groaning in pain. He hates alcohol, too. Maybe she should be kinder._

_He tried to talk. And he _did_ talk. It was all about nonsense, and C.C. listened. The drunk man was ranting, alright – but her headache wouldn't let her sleep – and Lelouch kept talking, and she kept listening._

_C.C. didn't understand, or maybe she was just too drunk to remember how Lelouch ended up saying, "You're a stuck-up woman who'll be single forever."_

_She kicked him off the bed, surprising even herself because she actually managed to do it. "SHUT UP."_

_She struggled to see him sit up and slump his head on the bed. It looked like he couldn't get up properly anymore. But he managed to hit the bed with a pillow grumpily – he looked like a child. "Why don't you just let me love you?"_

_She stared. "WHAT."_

"_Dammit, I'M DRUNK!!!"_

_C.C. continued to stare. "Yeah you are."_

"_And why won't you answer my question?! Just ignore those stupid dreams and nightmares and BEEEEEEE MIIIIIIINE-"_

"_Because you're not supposed to go with me; in this lifetime you should be with Shirley-"_

_He retorted grumpily, trying to glare with dignity and failing miserably. "What do we call people like you? THERE, I remember. You're strangled by the red thread. Strangled. By the red thread. Strangled. Strangled."_

"_Just LET ME SLEEP, Lelouch."_

"_Stuck-up."_

"_WHATEVER!" – she finally shouted at him, grabbing one of his pillows and burying her head on it._

"_I bet you don't even know how to kiss."_

_Lelouch is a random crazy drunk. She hates alcohol so much now-_

"_Who says I don't know how, huh?!" – she looked at him accusingly._

_And C.C. knew that she's a temperamental drunk._

"_I do!" – he shouted back. "YOU JUST KEEP BREAKING MY HEAAAAAART-"_

"_SHUT UUUUUP ALREADY!"_

"_I BET YOU'RE A LAME KISSER-"_

"_I'M GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP-"_

"_YOU HAVEN'T HAD A BOYFRIEND YET, EVEEEEEER!"_

"_Lelouch, if you don't KNOCK YOURSELF DEAD AT THIS VERY MINUTE I'LL HAVE TO DO IT FOR YOU-"_

_Somehow he ended up kissing her. And somehow she punched him in the face. _

"_WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!"_

"_I thought so, you were a lame-"_

_Somehow she kissed him this time, and he pulled her down with him._

_It was utterly childish, plain immature – they were drunk, out their usual sane personalities, and they were young. Reckless, giving in to every single little whim._

_She let him run his hands through her hair, and he let her wrap her arms around his neck and that night nothing else mattered anymore. Not the smell of alcohol or the unlocked door, or the bags by the doorway._

_Morning came, and C.C. woke up with a brown bulldog in her arms._

_She didn't have a bulldog._

_Her head was throbbing, and her body ached, and the bulldog remained fast asleep when she blinked down at it. It took much effort so she could flip to her side-_

_Lelouch was sleeping, grunting and blindly waving away at the Chihuahua that was licking at his face._

_C.C. stared back when Lelouch opened his eyes and blinked at her. "Why the hell am I here?"_

_Lelouch tried to think, and failed badly. He grunted heavily as his dog continued to lick his face. "I don't damned remember anything AND MY HEAD IS KILLING ME."_

_She scratched her head lazily, resting her hand on her temples. "Same here."_

_It was when he sat up shortly after that they both realized they wore nothing under the sheets._

_C.C. turned away, hugging the bulldog to herself and wanting to return to sleep. "This is just a bad nightmare." – although she knew she'll never have nightmares like these._

_Lelouch only slapped his forehead. "Damn."_

_Both were fast to say – "Nothing happened."_

_But there was no time to reply. A voice outside the room was heard over the enthusiastic barking of pet dogs. "Big brother? The front door's not locked so I'm coming in, okay?"_

_Lelouch heard his best friend mutter something and he fully agreed on that. "Double damn."_

_._

_

* * *

_

.

That happened – and they agreed that it was an accident. They were drunk, out of their right minds, and of course that was bound to happen. Both of them insisted to simply forget about it – and just go on with their lives as if nothing happened. If anyone would dare ask, they would explain properly, they would say that it's the alcohol. Anyone could have done that.

Anyway, C.C. didn't get pregnant – and Lelouch remained in his relationship with Shirley – and both of them were still best friends.

They didn't talk about it anymore. When Rollo saw them that morning, and they told him that they'd explain, the boy dutifully listened and told them he understood.

Rollo was a great secret-keeper.

Tonight C.C. wouldn't think of how to solve Lelouch's problems for him – she'll let him and Shirley sort it out among themselves. It's not as if she was the source of their problems. Sometimes you have to start letting people solve their own problems.

Sometimes you have to let go – because you weren't holding it in the first place. You have to just go watch – she's learned that much from her dreams.

If she keeps on this obligation, C.C. will have to agree with Lelouch – that she was strangled by the red thread.

She found it a nice kind of strangle – no matter how much he insists that it's stupid.

Tonight she'll try to dream of the future again. Perhaps… perhaps she'll see them happy.

.

* * *

.

"_That was a great show." – he complimented her as her dance finished and she made her way down the stage._

"_Thank you.", was her subtle reply, sitting before him.  
She was still panting, and her hair must be in disarray, but he was looking forward to seeing her anyway._

_When he sighed tiredly, she quipped up and peered close to his face, studying his expression._

"_What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing." – he lied and she saw through it.  
"Please **do** pretend it's nothing."_

_She nodded. "If that's what you wish. But you could talk to me about it, you know that."_

_He smiled slightly. "No, let's talk about something else."_

"_You're not tired of talking about me?", the dancer asked her companion.  
He had always been watching her every night, and he was one of her confidantes._

"_No, I'm never tired about you." – he assured._

_She paused for a while, thought of something, and breathed in. "I'm going to leave town."_

_He stared._

"_I want to travel with the caravan."_

_He kept staring._

"_This isn't a bad place, but I want to dance for other people too." _

_And it the young woman's thoughts, she inwardly smiled:  
'Because I dreamt last night that she's finally coming for you. I want the two of you to be happy  
and if you'll keep coming for me here you wouldn't be able to pay attention to her.'_

_The raven-haired young man frowned. "Who will I go to now? You're the best dancer around."_

"_Don't worry, another one will come here, and she'll fascinate you twice as much."_

"_Is that your fortune-telling skills on act again? You're quite famous for that."_

"_Yes. Stop frowning, sir." – she addressed formally.  
"Maybe I'll go back and visit and dance for this place again.  
For now I want to go places. It's always been my dream."_

_He had no choice but to urge her.  
It was her dream – he'll do anything to make it come true._

_Even if that means abandoning his own._

_His dream was to be with her – and that remains to be a dream._

_._

_

* * *

_

.

C.C. wondered why she just couldn't dream of the future these days. All she dreamt about was past lives, past lifetimes with Lelouch and it scared her why these recent ones had more intricate details.

She spent that morning in her bed, ears pressed against her phone as Shirley talked to her. She let the other woman take it all out – but this time, Shirley was calmer; she almost sounded happy.

By the end of the conversation, the woman was talking straight already, and she thanked C.C. for the time.

"I knew… I just knew you'd understand."

"No, that's nothing." – C.C. brushed it off. Shirley trusted her far too much, not that she minded, but perhaps she just wasn't used to it. None of Lelouch's previous lovers had been this close to her.

"Take care of him, okay?" – Shirley said one last time, and before hanging up, she said, "You're all he's waiting for, after all. Please listen to him this time."

C.C. didn't know what Shirley meant by that.

She always listened. She always watched.

And was that all she did, all that she'll keep doing?

C.C. didn't know.

Lelouch was early again, but this time he greeted her more enthusiastically. "Talking to Shirley?"

C.C. shook her head this time. "Slept in."

He shrugged. "When will I ever get it right?"

"She walked in the shop and laid her bag on the counter, then faced him. "Half-right. I slept in _and_ then I was talking to Shirley."

"How is she?"

"Finer than you, I think."

He nodded. "We went out last night." – Shirley told her that, too. C.C. looked at him again, and then rounded the shop to visit their wards. The kittens really liked her, so she stopped by to play a bit with them.

"C.C.?" – Lelouch peered at her from the counter, about to say something, but she spoke up.

"Did you tell Shirley about my dreams?", she asked.

He shook his head, in all honesty. "No. The only one in it with us is Rollo, right?"

"Then what was she saying about… about me being all you're waiting for?"

Lelouch opened his mouth to speak, but found no words. He turned away. "I guess it was that obvious."

C.C. stood up. "What are you talking about?" – for a rare time in this lifetime, she couldn't understand him.

"You only trust on what you see – on what you dream about."

She listened. And she watched – just like she always did.

"You tell me who's right for me."

"Because I _saw_ it-"

"What if I've already found her long before you decide to tell me who she is?"

C.C. stared. "What are you saying? Are you telling me that I've been leading you to the wrong people every single time?"

"Yes."

"I just lead you to who I saw would make you happy – there's nothing else that I would wish for-"

"What about my wish?"

He looked at her.

She stared back, drowning in violet eyes. Those eyes looked torn. For the first time since the mess with Shirley, she saw him sad.

She didn't like that – she worked so hard every lifetime to see his eyes twinkle in happiness and yet-

"It's not that you've been leading me to the wrong people. It's just that you've been leading me away from you."

He looked inquiringly on her unique gold eyes. Lelouch had always allowed her to tell him what's right. He never failed to follow. She never failed to be right.

But there could be so many right things in the world – and some of them, even though they could make you happy in every single lifetime you live, would always be second best.

"What if you start ignoring that bloody red thread, forgetting those past lifetimes, letting go of those dreams, and start trusting in what you can't see in advance?"

She didn't know how to respond. As such, she kept silent, thoughts in disarray on what he's been telling her to do. He was telling her to let go of everything that she had been living for in every lifetime. He was telling her to stop looking after him using the best way she could.

Lelouch turned away, a bitter smile playing on his lips. "You've always been there, right? Leading me on – why not, for just this one lifetime, let me be the guardian angel for both of us?"

She gulped, head held high and imploring him to answer her question, "What are you telling me to do?"

"Give me a chance." – he said, confidently. His eyes were the eyes of a man who will not accept a 'no' for a favor he asks. "It's about time you stop leading me away from you."

Because for him, anything except her is the next best thing.

.

* * *

.

The day passed, and C.C. pretended not to hear about it. They tended to the shop as if that odd conversation from this morning didn't happen. Weekend – they expected many customers, and many customers came indeed.

She told him that she wanted to think about it. But really, what is there to think about it?

She wanted to say yes. Yes, because she wanted to try, too. She's been waiting every lifetime for her turn with him – which never came, and she had believed it wouldn't come.

When had she stopped believing? She knew every lifetime that she always hoped. Hoped firmly. Yet every dream of a past life wouldn't retain that hope. She just lost it every single time.

Why didn't she trust what she couldn't see?

It was because she was afraid. She was used to know what was bound to happen. She was used to know how things would work out, how things would end up. The thought of not knowing what would happen to them scared her. She never saw her future. If it was in the limitation of her ability that she wouldn't see anything that involves her, then she had no way of knowing how things would end between them.

She didn't want to begin because she didn't know the end? – That was cowardly of her, but she could not help it.

She's been living all her life with built-in assurance that things would work out _because_ she trusted what she sees in the dreams.

You can't trust what you fear.

And she feared not knowing what would happen.

So she had to think about it – because it was hard to regain hope that was already lost.

.

* * *

.

Rollo came in that afternoon. Nunnally wouldn't be able to come, and Lelouch went out on an errand, and so the boy was her company before closing time.

Rollo wasn't as pushy about the topic today, but he did ask her what her decision would be. "Are you going to reject his suggestion?"

C.C. shrugged. "I'm still thinking."

"What's there to think about?" – Rollo asked.

The woman answered him earnestly. She knew the boy would understand. "I have to think about how I'll deal with letting go of the things that I've held on to for so long just to live without hesitations."

"Living with hesitations is fun, y'know." – Rollo remarked gently, watching her as she went through the shop inventory and did her work.

The numbers didn't make much sense as she listened to the boy.

"That last story you told me…"

"What of it?"

"What if the man was broken-hearted when the dancer left? What if he ultimately wanted her to stay and not travel with the caravan?" – the boy asked her curiously.

"I have no way to know that. Besides, it's over – the man lived long, happy with his wife and children."

"Then the story you told me the other day…"

C.C. looked up. "What is it this time?"

"What if… it turned out that the man was really in love with the flower girl? He gave her a rose-"

"That was because he was grateful of her support-"

"-what if he really _was_ in love with the flower girl and she's the only one so intent on believing that he had someone else and that they're not meant to be because she's just a poor girl?"

"You're dealing with the _what-if_'s, Rollo." – she tried to scold the boy, but he retorted fast.

"Everyone's dealing with the _what-if_'s.", Rollo replied. "Big brother says... that… there are just some people that are too afraid to know what goes beyond that."

She fell silent. C.C. simply looked down and pretended to go back to her paperwork. "You've been listening to both sides too much, Rollo."

Rollo stared at her, and he said, "There's nothing bad about it, I think." – when she didn't reply, he said, "That necklace is pretty. I've never seen you wear that before."

"It's from your brother."

"What's those little black marks say?"

She smiled slightly. "Semper fidelis."

"What's that mean?"

"It's Latin. It means _'always faithful'_."

Rollo gave her an amused, lopsided smile back. "So you're always faithful?"

She shrugged. "Maybe."

The boy quipped enthusiastically. "What if he is, too?"

C.C. stared.

"He's always been there too, right?"

.

* * *

.

When Lelouch came back, she told him that she would have to go home early. There was something she needed to do at home, and he told her that he'll be fine closing up the shop by himself. Rollo headed off with her.

They parted ways by the station, and she continued her walk home.

Semper fidelis. _Always faithful. _For some reason what Rollo had suggested stuck itself in her mind.

He was right. Lelouch has always been there, too.

And what was it that they've been doing?

Mistakes? Right choices? Both?

Not just because she's been the one who dreams about the future does it imply that she should be the one to know what's right.

But he always trusted her. So she kept doing what she knew how to do.

She kept leading him away from her, towards who she knew would make him happier.

"_He's always happy with you." _– she remembered Rollo say that.

She always believed that he could be so much happier.

Yet… Yet would it be wrong to think that he's at his happiest with her?

'_Yes, that would be wrong, C.C.'_– her mind insisted.

'_It could be right.' _– and she talked to herself.

**It could be right.**

Right enough to risk trusting what she feared?

'_Yes. He's always been there. We could be right enough.'_

There will always be another lifetime, always another chance. If they don't succeed in changing just this one lifetime, then she'll just find him again in the next one and try again.

After all, who was always there?

Just him, just her.

She has always been a dreamer, a ministering angel – and he always believed. Always listened.

He has always been faithful.

Perhaps this faith will be enough for her to admit that she's always loved him and will always do.

She has always been a dreamer. She used her gift to care for him, to find him.

Blessings and curses always find their way back to their respective owners. She was no exception to both. She's dreams of the future of those she valued, except herself. She dreams of every single one of her past lives.

This gift… this gift wouldn't show her a future with anyone.

She feared the gift.

Now she'll try to trust it.

It will make her braver.

Tonight, she would dream of her past, remember everything that went wrong so she could change it, so she can set things right, so she could answer Lelouch in the morning. So she could tell him that she agrees.

That she had to try – and she's glad that he wanted to chance, too.

.

* * *

.

A knock on her door.

She opened it and found her best friend for every life standing by her doorway. "Lelouch?"

He held out a hand: on it was a crimson band, a silver-cross dangling on it. "You forgot it in the shop."

C.C. looked up at him, took the choker carefully and said, "Thanks."

"No problem." – he said, shrugging. "Anyways, I'm in kind of a hurry so I'll be heading home now-"

"Wait." She said, hesitant, but he turned around again and faced him. She stared at him, golden eyes tentative but confident.

Lelouch blinked at her, sensing something serious in his partner's mood. "Anything wrong?"

"I'm done thinking." – C.C. said, gripping the choker in her hand. "You may ask me again."

He was ready for whatever answer.

Lelouch felt a discreet smile tugging in his lips, and he stared back at her. "May I paraphrase the question, then?"

"Sure."

And he asked her the question that he's always been dying to ask her.

"How many more lifetimes will you spend overlooking our perfectly possible happily ever after?"

He wasn't afraid of the answer anymore. He believes her – and he knows that there will be another chance.

He'll fall in love with her all over again on a different life, only to have him pushed away and led to someone else – but he would start now. He would start being brave enough to contradict her predictions and insist on what he feels for.

He wouldn't be afraid of her answer.

And as she breathed in and parted those soft lips, he was ready for anything.

"I'd have no more tragedies in any life after this." – she told him. "I want to start trying. It would be unfair if I wouldn't – I know you've been trying since the beginning."

Lelouch nodded, and he took her hand, took the choker from her and fastened it around her slender neck.

"Thank you." – was all he said.

There's never anyone who's _not_ ready for happiness.

.

* * *

.

.

She has always been a dreamer.

He has always been there.

That was enough to believe – enough to take up the courage to try and make their own ending for an entire lifetime.

.

* * *

.

_Overlooking a ruin, there stood two people._

_In this life, the woman did not dream of anyone's future anymore.  
She told herself that she had lived for so long that maybe she forgot how._

_In this life, the man still believed her, because of reasons he still couldn't fathom.  
Everything else was made up of lies – but he thought to himself, not her._

_She still dreams of past lives, although she failed to understand them.  
Perhaps it was her power that prevented her from feeling them, but she knew they were part of her._

_What she did not know was that she didn't dream of his future anymore because she was in it._

_She wouldn't see in her dreams how they would laugh without a care in the world,  
how both of them would be happy._

_But it was what kept her going; what kept her by his side._

_After all, he was the one who taught her how to trust what couldn't be seen.  
How not to run and deny what you fear._

_How to dream, and accept those dreams._

_How to love again – how to try and change things-…_

_The green-haired woman brushed unnecessary thoughts off.  
They were in battle, she had to concentrate on his aid._

_He overlooked the battleground below, eyes calculating._

"_Do you know why the snow is white?"_

_In this life, she was a witch – and he was a banished prince._

_What would change in this lifetime?  
_

_._

_._

_.  
_

**_.finis._**

_._

_

* * *

_

And I know you must go  
And by that I mean you must fly away  
And I know that you must leave  
And by that I mean that I will wake up from my sleep

Then I'll know, I've been to heaven

_- "Dreaming of Heaven"; Carter Hulsey _

_._

**_

* * *

_**

**_._**

**_._**

**_._**

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed that ride.

I remember when I posted "The Queen's Seat" - my first Code Geass fic, and the community of only barely 40 pages worth of fanfics welcomed me with open arms. I opened the CG category today and now it's a 100-plus page community. Back then I know almost all authors and titles in the 41-page marvel but now there are these new names and titles that I don't have any clue about.

I don't read fics here anymore - that's probably why I was too unsure of this one-shot. Is this up to par with the recent contributions? I don't know if the CG community still maintains that top-notch quality, or if it turned to one of those categories wherein you have to dig deep to find the jewels but as I posted and wrote Semper Fidelis, I was thinking if people around will still like this.

It's been quite long since the series ended - not too much inspiration and new material comes up for a fanfic writer who has long since finished watching both R1 and R2. I came up randomly with this plot idea and I instantly imagined that C.C. would fit in the role. Lelouch had me doubting but is there any better partner for our witch than our warlock?

I'd like to think of this work as a collection of love stories in one, an alternate retelling of C.C. and Lelouch, a small gift to the Code Geass fanfic community - whichever you deem fit. It's one of my really _long_ works on the series (and on my experience as an FFNet writer myself - 'cause, seriously 12,000 words?!) and one of my weird ideas.

And for those wondering, _yes_ - that's canon material in that last lifetime snippet. "Do you know why the snow is white?" - Ah. one of my favorite moments from R1.

Whatever you think of this, I'd like to hear it. It's been long since I wrote a CLuCLu fic, and I know people have been waiting for one from me - but guess what I give, an AU. Oh well, I tried my best. Tell me about it. ^^

SO WHY DO I SOUND SO SERIOUS. T.T I am going to be finishing up SomeLittleLunacy's latest chap in a few hours and I'm like super sober? Unfabulous.  
_And about SLL? Please wait a little more. I'm killing myself here. That chapter's undoubtably CLUCLU so I'm working on sprinkling it with every fluff I could grab.  
Quality is greater than Speed, right? RIGHT? (avoids bullets)_

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**Review?** _I'd LOVE to hear about it._


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